“Hi, I’m Red. You might know me from such hits as ‘Back Acne by Finals Week’ and ‘Shoulder Surprise Bumps: Summer Edition.’

But recently… something weird happened.”

There I was, thriving — clogging pores, building inflammation, leading my crew to another oil-fueled breakout party.

But then she brought in a green bottle.

SOME BY MI. 30 Days Miracle Acne Body Cleanser.

First, I didn’t panic. It’s just soap, right? But then I noticed things were changing.

Less sebum. More clarity.

My bump empire? Shrinking.

I tried to rally the troops on her shoulders, but between the AHA dissolving dead skin, BHA clearing the gunk, and PHA gently exfoliating without wrecking the skin barrier…

I had nowhere left to hide.

Worst part?

She liked it.

She started using it every night — even using a foaming net so the bubbles would get fluffier.

I overheard her say, “Wow, it’s not drying at all. But my back feels so clean.”

Ugh.

Anyway, if you ever miss me, just know I’m in hiding. Some clogged pore far, far away.

Till we meet again,

— Red 🧼💀